Active listening is non-judgmental listening with full attention.
Active listening is about not only listening but also about acceptance and reception of the speaker’s whole self. Active listening requires the listener to be empathetic, non-judgmental and congruent. It requires the listener to be open to whatever the client says. It does not mean that a listener cannot have an opinion or own emotions. If we feel it necessary to express our feelings that arise during the speech of the client it is very important to express them as solely personal, never in a judgmental way.
There are certain communication techniques that help active listening such as repeating or paraphrasing certain words or sentences of the client, highlighting a couple of topics that seem to be important. Summarizing the topic, articulating emotions that the speaker mentions, and the use of symbols and images.
The Wheel of Life tool is a process where, in just a few steps, participants create a graphic visualization that is an assessment of various areas of their lives. In the end it gives a broad overview so the participant can see which parts of their lives are going well and which ones could be improved upon.
Wheel of Life tool is part of the Live Your Power workbook, which could be viewed as an in-depth course-length process. Find the full workbook at hostingtransformation.eu.
The purpose of Setting Your Intention is to clarify, both within oneself and within the group, what each person’s aim is.
Relationships are life. Every person builds up a social network in the course of their life. It is fed by family, friends and professional contacts. In times of crisis, we notice in particular whether this social network is actually sustainable and nourishing or not.
You can imagine your relationships as different types of plants in a garden. Just as you would regularly water, weed and care for them, you can go through your relationship garden every now and then in the same way.
In a professional context the Garden of Relationships can be used as a subjective and qualitative snapshot which reveals important issues of stakeholder relationships. Subsequent to that, it is possible to prioritise these issues and to focus on solutions.
The originator of Deep Listening, Warren Ziegler, describes six modes of Deep Listening. An experienced listener can weave them together or dance between them, for the beginner it can be good to practise them one at a time. They are:
- Be silence – Do not respond in any way to the talker, either with words or with body language. Look away. No eye contact. This is not something you do, not a task but a state of being. Thus, be silence throughout your whole being.
- Give attention – This is an early form of the sixth mode, emptying. Focus your entire self on what the speaker is saying, to the exclusion of all else. Their words are the only reality.
- Be empathic – This is a grand act of the imagination through which spirit lives. Enter the talker’s story and live it as your own. Feel it in your body, your mind, your spirit, as if you were living her story with her.
- Be non-judgmental – A difficult practice when the talker offers images (values, ideas, intentions) in conflict with yours! But essential if you are to allow the other to come to the fullness of their images before judgement is rendered, whether their own judgement or yours.
- Nurture – This is an advanced form of being empathic. Enter into the talker’s story and help them search for elements they may have missed. Remember: it’s their story, not (yet) yours. Ask a question only if you must ask it in order to clarify what the speaker means – a ‘compelling question’.
- ‘Empty’ – Put to one side (‘park’) your present: your longings, knowledge and experience, hopes, dreams, problems, visions. When you do that, you will find your way to deep listen to your creative side without any limitations. Basically you’re in meditation mode, focusing not on your own breathing or your mantra but on the words of the speaker.
You can use freewriting for various purposes, e.g. for reflection, integration, generating ideas or conflict resolution. Set a clear timeframe (10-20 minutes maximum) and start writing without stopping. If you have the intention to generate ideas, write down every idea you can think of about your topic, no matter how “crazy” it is. You can judge later (and no one else is going to read it). Don’t worry about correct grammar or spelling, that is not important in this exercise.
A prototype is a practical and tested mini version of what later could become a pilot project that can be shared and eventually scaled.
Use the following principles to determine what you need to do to stay connected to your vision and translate your idea, concept, or sense of possibility into action.
PRINCIPLES
1. Crystallize vision and intention: create a place of silence for yourself every day. Clarify core questions that you want to explore with your prototype and get to know your own role early, so you can adjust.
2. Form a core team: five people can change the world. Find a small group of fully committed people and cultivate your shared commitment.
3. Iterate: “Fail fast to succeed sooner”, as David Kelley from IDEO says. Do something rough, rapid, and then iterate. Design a tight review structure that accelerates fast feedback.
4. Platforms and spaces: create “landing strips” for the future that is wanting to emerge.
5. Listen to a bigger purpose: listen to what is emerging from others, from the collective, and from yourself. Take a few minutes each day to review your quality of listening.
6. Integrate mind, heart, and hand.
The intention of this exercise is to a) open up and dare to ask any kind of questions concerning your project/enterprise and b) receive as many suggestions as possible in a short period of time. You will be surprised and overwhelmed about the collective wisdom of a group.
The purpose of setting intentions is to clarify, both within oneself and within the group, what each person’s aim is.