Reflective Listening
What is Reflective Listening about ?
Reflective listening is a variant of active listening which requires a response from the listener. The listener pays full attention to the speaker, then when the speaker pauses, repeats back the essence of what they’ve heard.
If it’s new to you and you find it hard, the easiest way to start is by repeating the actual words that the person said. As you get more confident, it will start to feel more natural to reflect the content in your own words, and to pick out what was most meaningful to the other person from what they said.
More skilled practitioners who have experience of techniques like Non-Violent Communication may also focus on reflecting the feelings and needs of the speaker, rather than merely repeating back the content.
Reflective listening is useful when you want to be sure there is clear understanding. It also helps to promote empathy, both for the speaker, who can feel connection and care when they feel sure that they’ve been understood, and for the listener, who has to pause in their own response to ensure that they’ve fully captured the other person’s perspective. It is also useful for conflict resolution.
Audience
Is participant experience relevant for Reflective Listening ?
Requirements
Not specifically
Run Through
• Pay full attention to the speaker, and focus on repeating back, as accurately as you can, what the other person said.
• Try to reflect the intensity of the emotion. If someone is expressing deep hurt, or anger, they will feel far more empathy and understanding if the active listener matches their energy by saying in a strong voice with emphasis: ‘you feel really hurt by that’ than if they repeat the same words in a monotone.
• Ask if you are unsure that you’ve understood or conveyed everything they’ve said accurately. It’s ok to have missed pieces and it can be a chance for the speaker to confirm or even to go a little deeper in what they’re sharing. Questions like “Is that right?” or “Is there more?” are helpful.
• Avoid expressing your own opinions, giving advice, adding info to explain anything they didn’t know about, answering any questions they asked, or talking about what you were reminded of (until it’s your turn to speak).
• Try to avoid judgements when reflecting back what someone has said. If they tell you someone slammed the door and stormed out of the office, try to stick to reflecting back what they actually said, rather than inserting your interpretations (that they were being rude, or mean, or controlling, or whatever).
Online
Yes, it’s perfectly possible to use this tool online, over video conferencing software
Impact
project
ERASMUS +
Co-funded by the Erasmus+ Program of the European Union. Find more information about the program and its goals here: https://erasmus-plus.ec.europa.eu/.
Views and opinions expressed are however those of the author(s) only and do not necessarily reflect those of the European Union or the European Education and Culture Executive Agency (EACEA). Neither the European Union nor EACEA can be held responsible for them.
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