Active Listening
What is Active Listening about ?
Active listening is non-judgmental listening with full attention.
Active listening is about not only listening but also about acceptance and reception of the speaker’s whole self. Active listening requires the listener to be empathetic, non-judgmental and congruent. It requires the listener to be open to whatever the client says. It does not mean that a listener cannot have an opinion or own emotions. If we feel it necessary to express our feelings that arise during the speech of the client it is very important to express them as solely personal, never in a judgmental way.
There are certain communication techniques that help active listening such as repeating or paraphrasing certain words or sentences of the client, highlighting a couple of topics that seem to be important. Summarizing the topic, articulating emotions that the speaker mentions, and the use of symbols and images.
Active listening can be used in any kind of situation. It can do no harm to another person. It can be used if we see that someone has difficult feelings but is reluctant to speak or answer specific questions. It is very useful when someone is frustrated or angry and does not want to hear any advice or “smart thoughts”, just wants to ventilate and to be listened to. However, it is very important to note that clients in severe crisis need directive therapy. If we suspect that our client needs professional therapy, active listening may not be enough for him/her! Always seek help if needed.
Audience
Is participant experience relevant for Active Listening ?
Audience description for Active Listening
Active listening can be used from the age when a child can speak until the very last moments of someone’s life. The best moments for active listening are when someone has difficult feelings, sorrow, anger, or any kind of feeling that does need to be listened to, though not necessarily to be changed or solved.
Requirements
Usually a smaller room with two chairs or armchairs placed not exactly facing each other (approximately 90 degrees between the two chairs) but active listening can take place during walking in an ambient environment for example a forest, or also sitting on the floor in a room. Any environment in which the facilitator and client feel secure.
Run Through
If you practice active listening with a client, use a cosy, not very large room, two more or less comfortable chairs placed not exactly facing each other but somewhat more opened so that the client can either look at the facilitator or look aside…
If you don’t have a place to sit like this, just try to make it as comfortable and atmospheric as you can.
If it is an exercise in pairs to practice active listening, the same applies to the pairs.
In groups, for “warming up” you can use the No / Yes,but / Yes and… game to experience how it feels when you are told no and yes and through that to experience the effect of the responder’s words...
Introduction
Setting the framework for the active listening session
Active listening session
- silence, attention, reassuring reactions: nods, hmms,
- openers: “Yes, I am listening, I see, I am happy to talk about this with you…”
- repeat, or rephrase: repeating back some key words, or rephrasing a sentence that the client said
- highlighting some of the topics
- summarising, or put in a short way a longer thread
- articulating the emotions of the client (it is important to say that he/she can tell if the emotion you name is not in harmony with what he/she actually feels)
- use of images and symbols
Harvest
If it is a facilitator - client situation you can ask how it felt to be listened to. But it is also OK if you just finish the session and the client has his/her own time after leaving, to harvest…
If it was a group session in pairs, the pairs can share how it felt to be listened to, which words and reactions of the “helper” made them feel good, and which reactions didn’t. The person in the helper role can also share how he/she felt when listening to the other person without giving advice.
Online
Online practice is possible in a one-on-one situation but only recommended if the facilitator is already experienced.
Material
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